


Get A Room, You Two!

by CloudXMK



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arguing, Based on a Tumblr Post, Based on a post I saw, Comedy, Crack, Drabble, Enemies to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, Love Bites, M/M, One on Tumblr and one on Twitter, Romance, Rough Kissing, Temporary Character Death, There it is the HORNY, Two posts to be exact, you'll find out why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23940133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudXMK/pseuds/CloudXMK
Summary: Just two men and their wild HORNY shenanigans.What more can I say here.
Relationships: Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	1. WRONG AGAIN!

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post: https://twitter.com/STOPFLEXIN/status/1003741403195805697  
> I just had to write a fic based off that post. But wait, there's one more. Hope you enjoy this one and the next chapter too!

Albert sighed wondering how in the fresh hell he ended up working as a cashier in Raccoon City’s Delicious Burgers. All because Umbrella wanted him to immerse himself out there, gain some experience interacting with the folks cause apparently he was just too. Damn. Quiet.

It was Hell. Having to deal with irate and most of the time illogical customers who would not take no for an answer despite that most of the time their orders are correct in the first place.

But he felt that today was about to get a whole lot worse.

He saw the brunette from earlier get back onto his feet and started stomping over to the counter with a furious look on his face and he just knew this was going to be ugly.

“How can I help you?” He grits out.

“You got my order wrong!” The customer yells angrily, pointing to his half-unwrapped burger.

Albert peeked at the burger and found it to be the exact burger as the man ordered and started to grow irate. “It’s the correct order, Sir.”

“It’s not! Look! It’s not the burger I wanted!”

“It is!” This time Albert couldn’t stop himself from yelling as he grew even more frustrated and furious with the stubborn customer.

The two went back and forth at each other, not willing to back down to the point their screaming match could be heard throughout the whole restaurant, scaring customers out and getting a few curious onlookers taking in all the drama. There were even a few of them recording the whole thing on their phones no doubt to post it up later on social media. But the two men paid no heed to them, too furious to notice nor did they even care. 

Albert didn’t know what came over him to make him say what he said, but he just blurted it out which was so out of character of him, “See, this is the reason all you straight men are fucking trash!”

But much to his surprise and to everyone else’s, the brunette yelled back, “WRONG AGAIN BITCH, I LIKE DICK TOO!”

Even the brunette caught himself when he blurted that out, his mouth forming an ‘O’ shape as he realized what he just said.

Albert was the first to recover however. Shaking his head, he grabs the man’s collar and pulls him in close, “Let’s take it outside!” He shouts and releases the man, heading for the doors.

“FINE BY ME!” The brunette responded with the same equal fury and followed the blonde-haired man outside to the back of the building.

The moment they were all by themselves with no passing onlookers, Albert grabbed the man's arm and slammed him against the building earning a grunt from the younger man, their faces now inches away from each other and their bodies pressed close. Anger still pumping through his veins and the other man’s as well, Albert slams his lips onto the other man’s lips hard enough to bruise.

The two made out like hormonal teenagers, moaning loudly as their kissing grew even steamier. The brunette gasped when Albert left bruising bites on the his neck and wanting payback, the man unbuttoned the first two buttons of Albert’s shirt and slid it slightly off, exposing the pale shoulder. Without any hesitation, the brunette bit down on Albert's pale neck and shoulder marking him as well and making the blond pant and gasp from the adrenaline, pleasure and exhilaration.

Once they pulled back, both blushing men had red lips and bruised bite marks on their necks and in Albert’s case his shoulder as well as unkempt hair.

Their anger now cooled, the brunette then spoke up. “I’m Christopher but you can call me Chris. That was…” He panted.

“Hot? Is that what you were trying to say?” Albert responded in short pants with a smirk.

The brunette blush turned a deep red and he nods. “I’m Albert.” The blond then introduces himself, not once dropping his smirk. 

Gazing at the blonde-haired man, Chris swallowed thickly thinking of how handsome the man was. “This isn’t exactly the most conventional way to ask someone out to a date but… would you mind if I take you to a date?”

Albert couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. But you’re going to be treating me after provoking me first back in there.”

“Are you serious!?”

“Yes.”

And before Chris could protest, Albert had sealed his lips over Chris’s own in a searing kiss that nearly wiped Chris’s feet off of the ground.


	2. There It Is Officer, That's The Horny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off this post: https://johnnysilverhand.tumblr.com/post/178356896438  
> I... I had to okay. Hope y'all enjoy this as much as you did the first one!

Tapping his foot, Wesker wondered what the hell was taking Chris so long. It had been five minutes now nearly six since he had geared up in his customized BSAA outfit. If he was ‘forced’ to work for the organization, the least Chris could do was not be late for the mission.

He shook his head wondering how the hell he even agreed to working with Chris and through extension the BSAA. He’d chalk it up to an elaborate scheme he had in mind against Chris and it most definitely was not because he saw the hope in the brunette’s eyes slowly dim over time and it was not because Chris was turning into an empty shell of himself throwing himself into battle after battle without a damn care of his own life.

No, it was not THAT.

“Hey um… sorry I was late.” He heard Chris mutter from behind him. Finally. About time he showed up. 

But when he turned on his heel, he never expected to see such a sight. Eyes widened in shock behind the dark shades he wore, Albert could only gape as he stared at Chris with his cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

“What on earth are you wearing, Chris!?” He exclaims.

The man in question was nearly naked except for the black underwear he wore but aside from that, he only had his boots on, his belt around his waist, and his holsters around his thighs and hooked around his shoulders.

“I… didn’t have any clothes left. They’re all still in the laundry.” The man said embarrassed just as red in the face, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to avoid looking at Wesker.

The blonde-haired man was just speechless as his heart started to hammer inside his chest.

Coming back to his senses, Albert then asked Chris, “Then why didn’t you hand the mission to someone else in the meantime!?”

“I forgot! I’m sorry, I forgot.”

Seeing the man dressed in such gear and his muscular body before him was making Wesker’s mouth dry and his pulse beat faster. His chest ache from how hard his heart was pounding against his ribs that he thought it was going to burst out of its cage at any moment.

“Y-You should tell the commanding officer. I’m not going to go on this mission with you dressed like this.”

But Chris protested, looking up to meet Wesker's gaze with that stubborn look Wesker knew all too well, “I can still do my job!”

_God, how did Chris get even more attractive with that stubborn look on his face?_ The blond wondered. Wesker swallowed thickly, feeling his heart skip a beat and just continuing to speed faster seeing Chris now face to face in all his splendor.

He could feel his pants growing tighter as well. “Chris…”

The man starts walking then making the muscles of his arms and legs flex and those abdominal muscles…

The poor blonde-haired man couldn’t take it. Next thing he knew there was a sharp pain inside his chest and then he knew no more.

“Wesker!?” Chris rushed to the collapsed man now sprawled on his back. Cradling him in his arms, the brunette panicked when he saw the blood trickling out of the side of Wesker’s mouth and that he wasn’t breathing either.

“Wesker hold on!” He yells, getting back up onto his feet whilst still cradling the man in his arms, rushing to the infirmary then. He ignored the shocked and bewildered looks he got as well as the loud gasps of the passing agents and staff.

All that mattered right now was getting Wesker to the infirmary.

* * *

“I have… no way to explain this but it would seem Mr. Wesker’s heart ruptured inside his chest.”

Chris was astonished at this piece of news. “Ruptured? As in… his heart burst!?”

“Yes that’s exactly what happened. Can you elaborate on this?” The doctor asked. 

The brunette had no idea. But he had seen how red in the face Wesker was and how he was even close to hyperventilating especially when he got closer. He swore he could even see his shirt move on the spot over his heart. No doubt, the organ must have been pounding. 

The only time that Wesker even came that close but not as extreme of such a reaction was when they were making out in his bedroom.

Did… Did Wesker’s heart burst and he died from extreme horniness thanks to him?

“I… I don’t know.” He simply answered not wanting to elaborate more on it as his face turned red with embarrassment. “He’s going to be fine right?”

“Oh yes, he’ll be fine. His heart is repairing itself as we speak.”

“O-Okay. That’s good.”

Oh boy, are they going to have a long talk about this when Wesker wakes up.


End file.
